The Writing Biz

May 6, 2009 by

I learned today in a presentation by alumni of Rowan University’s Writing Arts program that I can get a job!! It was music to my ears. I think that many students who study writing feel overwhelmed by the oppurtunies out there. Since writing is such a general category, it’s overwhelming to think of what industry you want to work in, or send your first job application to. Every company needs a writer or an editor for something, and as was mentioned today by the speakers, new age writing is creating even more jobs for writers–some which can take place without even leaving your MacBook. 

But I’ve had an epihpany, if you will, today. Yeah, every company needs a writer, but as writers we have the ability to choose what interests us outside of the wrtiting sphere, and build a career based on it using the skills we’ve learned. For example, I’ve always wanted to work in fashion, but when I started out my college experience at the Fashion Institute of Technology, I learned that fashion wasn’t all I wanted from my career. Writing was too. 

With the skills I’m learning, I will (hopefully) be able to work in the fashion industry, but instead of dealing hands on with the catty, technical, bitchy aspect of the runway or the showroom, I can just sit back, observe, and write about it all. 

So write on, people. There’s something out there for all of us.

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Got Text?

May 6, 2009 by

Texting is the new way to communicate, and I have no doubt it’s here to stay. Personally, I have a theory that people use text as their primary source of communication because they don’t want to talk on the phone. 

Anywho, texting plans vary, but I go with unlimited texting. That way there is no risk of me going over my limit.

Here’s a link to an article on girl who went a little crazy with the texting….

http://newsfeedresearcher.com/data/articles_t16/phone-text-dena.html

Oh how things have changed since I was a kid……

May 6, 2009 by

I hate to sound like a grandma here, but when I was a young girl….we didn’t have texting, twitter, Facebook, MySpace, or the IPhone. And if you had a cell phone you were damn lucky or rich. Either way your cell phone got horrible reception because cell phones were just coming out back then, and most of them sucked.

When I was a kid there was one family computer that everyone shared. There were a few exciting things you could do online. Send emails, send e-cards, or go on Ebay.

If my friend’s wanted to get a hold of me they called my house phone, and asked my parents to speak to me. If I wasn’t home then they couldn’t find me. There was no Facebook or Twitter status to establish my whereabouts. No cell phone number where I could be reached. The communication train started and ended with my home telephone.

Moreover, my friends and family knew what was going on in my life because I did something wild and crazy…I told them face to face. There was no middle man. When my high school boyfriend broke up with me my friends found out because they saw me blubbering like an idiot in the cafeteria NOT because my relationship status changed on my Facebook page.

I love most of the new technology available to us today. I especially love my Ipod touch with all my heart and soul. However, sometimes I miss the days where status, and friends weren’t defined by social networking sites. Back in my day you knew who gave a shit about your life because they took the time walk right up to you, and ask what was up.

Good Writing Tips by ME!

May 6, 2009 by

After writing for a while I developed, and picked up some good habits as writer which are worth sharing.

1. One glass of wine can loosen the tongue, but you don’t wanna end up slobbering all over the page.

It starts with one glass, then two, then three, and the next thing you know your wasted and pouring your heart out in a non-sensible manner. When writing keep it at a two drink minimum.

2. Carry around a small book in which you can write down ideas or quotes.

You never know when something will inspire you or piss you off. For that reason alone, always have something you can write down ideas in. That way you won’t forget the ideas later.

3. Don’t publish your work onto a blog or the web until you’ve proofread and waited a week before posting.

Sometimes blogs are like the random guy we shouldn’t have made out with at the bar. We wake up the next morning reeking of tequilla as our inner voice screams “What were you thinking?!?!”, and blogs can be just like that random guy. Think twice before you post on line. After all, your blog stays online  forever.

4. Change names.

If you write true stories (like me!) change the names, and in severe cases get permission.

5. Find someone honest to edit and criticize your work.

The truth hurts, but that is too bad! Writing isn’t for pansies. You need to have the best possible product out there, and sometimes that means taking some verbal blows from someone who is more talented than you.

And there you have it. Five easy tips for better writing practices. All of them are up for adoption, and are ready to be taken into your loving home.

I love blogging!

May 6, 2009 by

In the article “Why blog?” blogs, and what they have to offer are discussed. Dr. Penrod lists five reasons as to why blogs are becoming so popular.

1. They’re easy to publish

2. They’re fun

3. They’re easy to understand

4. They allow for and create an atmosphere of escapism 

5. They create a feeling of empowerment

(http://williamwolff.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/penrod-blog-2007.pdf)

I agree with all these reasons as to why blogs are popular. I have been blogging for over a year now on MySpace and Facebook , and I have been able to publish my blogs to the Internet for free, and receive feedback from a wide range of people in the process.

Blogging is a fun way of expressing yourself because you don’t need to follow any paticular format. You can talk about almost anything. I also started a blog for a class on the topic of dating and relationships. I enjoyed receiving my teacher’s feedback on my dating advice. My teacher was very receptive to my writing style, and enjoyed my blog.

Nowadays, a good blogging site can jump start a writing career. For instance, the book Waiter Rant was based on a popular blog by a NYC waiter who posted (anonymously) restaurant horror stories involving management and customers.

Blogging is a relatively new development in writng, and I hope it’s here to stay. Mainly, because they are a fun,  and free way to express yourself. The most appealing part of the blogging process is that people will actually read what you write, and hopefully give feedback.

BTW…my blog is http://www.xanga.com/emmylovesbeer  (The blog on dating and relationsips)

A twitter is a twitter does.

May 6, 2009 by

When my boyfriend first introduced me to Twitter I told him it was a stupid idea. Despite my initial feelings toward Twitter I signed up anyway. And I have to say I’m quite fond of the little bugger.

People say that those who sign up for Twitter are stalkers, and I disagree. Twitter has only your screen name, location (mine is listed as anywhere, but here), and a maximum of 140 characters of whatever is on your mind at the moment.

No relationship status, no age, no sex, no likes or dislikes, and one very small picture of your own choosing. Twitter reveals very little, and is the least stalkerish of the social networking tools.

Twitter becomes an addicting way of sharing your thoughts with friends. And while I once thought Twitter was dumb I now can’t stop updating the damned thing.

My Internet Date from the planet cheap.

May 6, 2009 by

After discussing Internet dating in class I thought I would share my own experiance with Internet dating and here it is:E-harmony, Match.com, Cupid.com….these are the building blocks of internet love. However, these sites cost mad dollars. Love ain’t free anymore. In fact, love is pretty fucking expensive. A membership to a dating site can cost you over a hundred bucks for six months of belonging to a site that promises you love or at least an intimate encounter.

You are the prospective dater, and by pulling out your VISA you are paying for the “hope” that one of those online users who browses your page is the love of your life, special somebody, soul-mate, or hot-fuck.

I don’t know about you , but I’m fucking broke. Seriously, tapped out…the well is dry! Ya know…one paycheck away from a rubber chicken, and a hotplate.

And that’s where Plentyoffish.com comes into play. It’s free, and get this, 50% of Plentyoffish.com’s members found love on the site. Shit, I already felt warm and fuzzy inside at the thought of something being free.

“You should sign up for Plentyoffish.com so you can remember what it’s like when someone is really into you” suggested my good friend Brandi. Truth be told, I hate dating sites. Really I do. Dating sites are the last bus stop before Desperartion City.

But…it was winter break, and the site was free afterall…

I signed up for Plentyoffish.com, and listed my idea of a good first date as:
“Anything where I don’t have to think, and don’t end up in a dumpster by the end of the night.”

You’d be suprised how much unwanted attention the above statement got my profile.

The influx of creeper mail poured into my free dating website like milk into your morning bowl of fruit loops.

A guy named Alex began to contact me, and he SEEMED normal. And wasn’t bad-looking judging by his picture on his webpage.

He called me, and I blew off his call and never called him back. Alex musta been hard-up for a date because he kept calling. Eventually, I answered and here are some dimlights from our phone conversation:

Alex: So what are you looking for?
ME: Honestly man, I have no fucking idea what I’m looking for.
Alex: I work at a company fixing printers and stuff. I get paid ten bucks an hour.
ME:ohhhhhh.
INNERME: whoa. Big dreams fulfilled! 
Alex: I wanted to know if I coould take you out on saturday?
ME: You can meet me at a club that my friends and I are going to in Philly if you want.
INNERME: I’m not going out with this freak alone.

That Friday, Alex met me, and my friend and her boyfriend. Alex was standing in the lobby of the club dressed in akward dark green sweater paired with what looked to be Jordache brand jeans, and brown work boots. Not exactly what what a man should wear for a night out on the town.

He did NOT look like his picture on the internets!

We all walk up to the bar, and he orders a shot of tequilla. I order a 2$ U-call it pinnapple and vodka drink. When the bartender went to charge him for my drink he said “No, we’re seperate.”

And that’s where I envisioned him walking into HELL, and burning alive.

How are you going to ask a bitch out, and not pay for even ONE drink, and expect to get anything besides swift kick in the ass as you walk out the door? As far as I was concerned the date was over.

Unfortuntly, Alex was really interested in me, and I was forced to feign conversation with him.
Alex had a few choice things to say. 

Let’s play a game. 
The game is called “Alex the Simpleton.” The game is comprised of Alex’s staements and my internal (and some external)responses to those statements.

Alex the Simpleton likes bums because they don’t have to report to the goverment.
(Oh yay. A man looking to avoid responsibility.)

Alex the Simpleton just wants a house in the woods.
(People who live in the woods get murdered)

“I’m sarcastic too” says Alex.
“Oh yeah? I really don’t see it.” I respond.
“No, I am sarcastic. I just don’t want to be an asshole.” he says.
“It’s okay. Be an asshole. I want you to.” I say to him as I await for him to back up his shit.
“Nah…” says Alex as he backs down from my verbal challenge.

“I was going to be an Interior Designer..” says Alex the Simpleton.
“Oh really. Are you still going to pursue that?” I ask.
“No” responds Alex the Simpleton.
If you are going to use the word “was” in a sentance it should be applied to something you actually did. For example: “I was a brain surgoen until an aligator ate both my hands.”

Alex the Simpleton asked me if I like space (universe..planets, stars etc.).
( What do you say to that? No, I’m really against solar systems. That’s like asking me if I like chairs)

“Do you like to star gaze?” asks Alex.
“Uh….stars are cool.” I respond.

Alex the simpleton likes to talk about how he likes to have “Deep conversation” and drink wine because it makes him feel sophisticated.

Alex the Simpleton tells me that I seem like a classy lady. 
(I counteract his statement by telling him that I’m not classy at all, and I enjoy swearing in front of children.)

“I like to go muddn'” says Alex.
“Whats muddn?” I ask.
“It’s where you get in a truck, and let it skid in the mud, and you get tossed around.” He answers.
“Oh so muddn’ is like goin on a carnival ride without having to pay money.” I say.
“Yeah!” responds Alex.

Alex is a cyclist. I know this because he told me at least three times, and kept trying to explain to me what a cyclist was even though I told him I knew what it meant. “You ride a bike. I get it.” I said.

Alex the Simpleton can NOT take a hint. 

Even after I tell Alex I don’t want to dance with him because I feel it would be akward.

Even after I walk away he continues to stare at me.

Finally he leaves, and sends me a text message that says he really wants to see me again, and likes how straight forward I am.

Dating sites turn my stomach. The thought of some kind of contrived dating situation makes me want to vomit uncontrollably all over myself. Meeting some stranger in a public place, and trying in vein to search to for common ground is about as painful as a route canal. In fact, I’d take the route canal over internet dating anyday. At least when it’s over you get drugs, and a free tooth brush.

Poor Alex. That boy didn’t stand a chance.

Have you changed your status, yet?

May 6, 2009 by

Nowadays everyone can track your relationship through Facebook. You can track relationship status through My Space too. However, the Facebook status is the one that really counts, and seems to carry the most weight when deciding someones relationship status.

There are some different options available when choosing your Facebook Status:

1. Single (One is the lonliest or most available number, no?)

2. In a relationship (Your attached, and if your significant other has a Facebook we can see who you are attached to!)

3. Married (AKA taken…forever.)

4. It’s complicated (Meaning your kind of together, but not really. However, if one of you decides to see other people the other person will be so pissed.)

5. Engaged (AKA last chance before they are attached to someone else forever!)

6. In an open relationship (Basically means, it’s okay if we cheat on each other.)

Today, I saw someone change their status to it’s complicated on Facebook. Is this what we are doing now? Every time something small (or big) happens in our relationships we run to the computer to change our status? As if the dating world was scary, and humiliating enough now our friends and family get a blow by blow update on our personal relationships?

Another time, I saw someone change their relationship status six times in one month. At that point, why even bother?

Maybe they should add more relationship status options like…”friends with benefits” or “dating so and so short term”

I keep my relationship status off my Facebook, and I’m listed as “married” on my MySpace. In the past, I did update my relationship status as changes in my status happened. However, I found that to have depressing consequences at times.

In short, people should not be able to know everything about you by looking at a Facebook page.

A word on bad blogs.

May 6, 2009 by

A great blog is great. A bad blog is bad. And a blog which defies common sense, and human decency is like watching a car accident. The blog is so bad we are horrified as we read it, but we can’t look away.

One day in class a fellow student mentioned she blogged, and that she loved readingblogs. In turn, I expressed my love of blogging and she added me as a friend on My Space. When I read her blog I was shocked and horrified when I read her postings.

Apprently, my classmate was a staunch Republican who seemed to have an unhealthy love of Bon Jovi, and a hatred for just about everything and everyone that did not identify with her short sighted view point.

Her bullietens were just as scary as her blogs, and some of the lines read “Stop being pathetic weak Americans!” It was like she had over dosed on steroids or something.

Let’s just say after discovering my classmate’s hatred of anyone who didn’t love Sarah Palin,  anyone who didn’t support ownership of guns, and emo kids I was wary of her. The blogs she wrote made me think she was crazy, short sighted,un-empathetic, spoiled, and hateful.

In short, be careful what you blog. You may shift the perception of yourself in the wrong direction.

Great books on Dating and Relationships.

May 6, 2009 by

Just thought I would share this….

The following books are the most useful, and TRUE books I have read on the topic of dating, and relationships. I suggest that anyone and everyone read them.

He’s just not that into you

 Everything in this book is true. I didn’t want to always believe the truth the book was telling me. However, the book was right about every dating situation I’ve EVER had. The truth hurts like a knife-weilding bitch, but knowing the truth about your crappy dating situation is empowering. And knowing is half the battle.

The Manual

This book was written by a former Bad Boy, and once again despite his knack for sleaziness he his accurate in his assessment with men, and how to deal with them. He even gives tips on manipulative tactics you can use in almost any dating situation. I don’t know about you, but manipulative tactics make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Be honest, your’re not that into him either

We’ve all dated a guy just because we had nothing better to do, or maybe he was really persistent. Or maybe you were hoping that you might grow to love him. Screw those time-wasters, and learn how to recognize if your actually into him.

Dating makes you want to die, but you have to do it, anyway

This is hysterical look at the dating process, and it offers some good advice on how to become a sleek sexy dating machine!

It’s called a breakup cause it’s broken

Damn straight! From the writer of “He’s Just Not that into You” and his wife these two authors have had their fair share of heartbreak, and they’ve felt your pain, and they know how to work through that pain as well. Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt have been through some terrible break up times, and they cover everything your feeling, and then some. If you’ve been dumped, dumped someone, or think you are about to be dumped this book is worth taking a look at.